Don’t look now, but the holidays are almost upon us. 

This is a wonderful time of the year, but it can also be difficult. So I make a point of remembering a couple of key principles – in fact, I have something that helps me remember them.  I call it my “reminder stone,” and it helps me focus on two important things:

The first is that nobody’s life is perfect – we all face challenges. As Broadway great Elaine Stritch used to say, “everybody’s got a sack of rocks.” You could say that my little blue stone represents one of those rocks. It reminds me to be empathetic and forgiving because, as the minister Ian Maclaren once wrote: “be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” I actually wrote a piece a couple of years ago that touches on this issue. My friend and colleague Cheryl Stella Dalisay gave a wonderful talk on this topic recently at the QRCA Worldwide Conference in Lisbon.

Secondly, the stone reminds me that our time on this earth is finite. Not to get morbid, but death – being a part of life – is never far away. There’s a practice of putting a stone on a grave marker when you visit. There is also the tradition, going at least as far back as ancient Greece, of the memento mori – a tangible reminder of the inevitability of death. And bear in mind that contemplating demise doesn’t need to be depressing. In fact, it can be one of the most life-affirming things you can do – maybe even more than my mushroom soup. Remembering that our time here doesn’t last forever can serve as a cue to embrace the now, to focus on making the world a better place for everybody, to devote as much time as possible to the things you love, and to spend time with the people most important to you.

So that’s why I carry a small stone in my pocket. During this holiday season, remembering these two principles could serve to make what can be a challenging time of year a bit easier. Consider acquiring some sort of tangible reminder yourself. It doesn’t have to be a stone – it could be a coin, a shell, a pearl-handled derringer, anything. If you adopt this practice – or already do it – please let me know. I’d love to learn about your memento mori and what it represents to you.