Thanks for all the emails and comments on my last newsletter on fear. Those led to interesting conversations, some of which focused on hope.

This isn’t surprising; hope and fear are two sides of the same coin. As a qualitative researcher, I pay close attention to hopes and fears. They are the two key attributes of an anticipation mindset – looking to the future with either anxiety or optimism. Anytime a research participant says something that sounds like one of those, I immediately dig into it. I’ve learned that, at the core of hopes and fears, lie beliefs. Beliefs are key – they drive everything we think and do. As philosopher and neuroscientist Sam Harris has written:

“A belief is a lever that, once pulled, moves almost everything in a person’s life.”

Sam is right – beliefs drive perceptions, decisions, and behaviors. I once conducted research among individuals who – despite having high blood pressure – weren’t taking the drugs they’d been prescribed. A number of factors drove this noncompliance, but a big one was fear. Some had specific fears: “my aunt fell and got a concussion because her meds made her blood pressure too low.” Others had non-specific fears: “I just worry about side effects.”

Both of these fears were rooted in a belief. The first participant believed – with good reason – that too high a dose can lead to hypotension, which increases the risk of fainting and falling. The second had a vague belief that “they don’t test these medicines enough.” He couldn’t cite any facts to support this belief, but that didn’t matter – it was real to him.

Sometimes we forgo things that would clearly benefit us due to irrational fears: enriching travel, leaving a bad job or a dysfunctional relationship, or avoiding an important medical therapy. And sometimes we get into patterns of self-destructive behaviors because we’re hoping that … ‘this time it’ll be different.’

That common wisdom about the definition of insanity – doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result – rings true. At the core of this sort of behavior generally lies an irrational hope … ‘maybe this time around Lucy won’t pull the football away.’

Hopes and fears can serve as a way of coping with uncertainty or adversity, and are valuable if kept in their place. But we need to be aware of them, lest they lead to bad decisions. It’s a good practice to interrogate our hopes and fears, particularly when they seem to be influencing our behavior. Where do they come from? Are they rational? Upon what beliefs are they based? Should we allow them to drive our behavior in this situation? The answers to those hard questions can help guide us to better decisions.