There’s no skill more underrated than that of being able to work with difficult people, particularly when it comes to qualitative research.

Years ago, when I worked in CPG brand management, I witnessed this exchange between a brand manager, whom I’ll call Bill, and the SVP who ran our division —let’s call him John:

 

Bill: “We need a different R&D manager assigned to our brand.”

John: “What’s the problem with Jakub?”

Bill: “He’s just really difficult to work with.”

John: “How well does he do his job?”

Bill: “Fine. His technical skills are excellent. But we can’t stand the guy.”

John: “I just want to be sure I understand exactly what’s going on here; is Jakub doing anything inappropriate? I mean, should HR be involved in this conversation?”

Bill: “No, nothing like that, he’s just really disagreeable. Every conversation with him has a way of turning into an argument.”

John: “Then, no. Sorry. Jakub’s your R&D guy, and it’s your job to work with him. The fact that you personally dislike him doesn’t matter to me, and shouldn’t matter to you either. Get past that and do your job.”

Bill:  Grumble, grumble, grumble.

I remember this exchange as clearly as if it had just happened because this experience made a huge impression on me. I resolved – at that moment – that I would strive to work with anybody, no matter how difficult they were.

It would be great if we liked everybody we worked with, but that’s not how things generally go. Some people we encounter are very different from us, and it’s hard to find common ground. Some are just grouchy and unhappy. Some might suffer from a challenge like anxiety or depression or be on the autism spectrum. Regardless of the root cause, we don’t always get to choose the people we encounter professionally—and we have to work with them regardless of whether we like them or not.

This is certainly true for qualitative researchers. The research participants with whom we interact are not always pleasant. I’ve particularly noticed this when conducting healthcare research among patients—people who suffer from chronic, debilitating conditions can (understandably) be grumpy. But it’s my job to talk to them no matter what, and I have to meet them where they are. And I’ve always been wary of recruiting participants who are especially cooperative and communicative, as that carries the risk of skewing the findings in unpredictable ways.

But, if you merely grit your teeth and endure working with difficult people, you’re missing out on the larger opportunity. You must embrace and relish the challenge. The ability to work with anybody is an invaluable skill, and a key factor to success. In the course of my career, some of the most competent and gifted people I’ve encountered have also been some of the most contentious. The fact that I managed to work with them enabled me to achieve results that otherwise might have been unattainable.

So here’s my philosophy on this issue in a nutshell.

• Seek out the exasperating people. They might be the ones who have exceptional skills, extraordinary knowledge and an inspiring level of passion for what they do. They may enable you to do things you didn’t think possible. Make them your secret weapon.

• People you don’t mesh with might have a very different outlook on life and the world. This difference in perspectives is part of that thing we call diversity, and diversity is a key to success.

• Approach these individuals from a place of compassion, remembering that adage attributed to Ian Maclaren: “be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”

• Learn to love people for their idiosyncrasies, not despite them.

Every brilliant diamond starts as a rough stone that doesn’t look like much. Likewise, amazing people sometimes come wrapped in a prickly exterior. Learning to look beneath that surface will enable you to realize that they’re worth the trouble.

 

Morality is always a factor in perceptions and decisions. But people often don’t talk about it.

I’ve written in the past about mindset models. Morality, however, is the mother of all mindsets.  It’s constantly operative, constantly influencing our perceptions and constantly informing our decision making. So, it’s essential that researchers always be aware of it.

You’ll also find links to the other posts I’ve written on mindset models at the end of this blog.

For example, a few years ago, I was conducting research on medication non-compliance. We interviewed people with a variety of chronic conditions, including: obesity, hypertension and diabetes. They had struggled with these conditions for decades, and had been steadily losing ground. And yet, their compliance rate for taking their medications was very low. Why? While a few mentioned things like safety and side effects, most explained by saying something like ‘it’s too easy.’  Ultimately, they felt that medicating these conditions was somehow wrong. Or, in other words, it was immoral.

So, what do I mean by the term ‘morality?’ There’s no shortage of definitions, but here are a few I find useful:

Morality is our intuitive sense of right and wrong. People make moral judgements quickly and instinctively, much the same way we make aesthetic judgements. We might not always be able to explain precisely what moral or immoral behavior is, but we know it when we see it.

Social psychologists have described morality as a means of balancing the needs of the individual with the needs of the group. The fact that humans are able to act cooperatively and altruistically is what has enabled us to organize ourselves into groups (tribes), and is fully dependent on an ability to think in moral terms.

Another useful way to think about morality is that it is an evolved trait, directly linked to our species’ extremely large brain. Our exceptional cognitive ability allows us to think deeply about our actions, and our ability to control our own behavior makes us responsible for their consequences. Therefore, our ability to exercise free will is intrinsic to morality.

But ultimately, morality is a mindset—a lens through which we see the world. Difficult-to-understand or seemingly irrational behavior in others becomes clear when we view it through the operative moral mindset, which is why it’s such an important topic for researchers.

Morality is intrinsic to nearly all marketing issues. It’s an important component in branding. Brand personality and brand equity usually have a moral element, and brands and their competitors are often associated with specific virtues and sins.

Consider two brands from Seattle that have often come up in my research studies: Starbucks is often associated with fairness, while Amazon tends to be associated with rapaciousness. Morality is also key to segmentation— different consumer segments often are motivated by different moral imperatives.

Because morality is so fundamental to marketing, qualitative researchers must always be aware of it. Research participants talk about, or indirectly refer to, moral considerations frequently. Sometimes they do so overtly, but more often in coded language. Much of our sense of morality is intuitive, so we are often not consciously aware that we’re thinking this way. So, what do people talk about when they’re actually talking about morality? Here are some of the words, phrases and ideas that I hear frequently from research participants that might signal they’re talking about moral issues:

Choice—remember, morality is closely tied to the idea of free will.  When people are describing an action as a choice, they may be referencing this concept.

Self-sacrifice or the greater good—because morality is a mechanism for balancing the needs of the individual with the needs of the group, this often requires virtuous, altruistic behavior.

Self reliance – this is part of what I call ‘the morality of freedom,’ a particularly American construct. When you hear people talking about attending to one’s own responsibilities, or invoking the term ‘bootstraps,’ they’re probably referring to the virtue of not depending on others.  

Things being too easy—many models of morality, particularly religious ones, place great value on hard work, suffering and self-denial.

Fairness—social psychologist Jonathan Haidt has identified several foundations of morality, and fairness, equality and reciprocity make up one of them.

Purity or sacredness—this is another of Haidt’s foundations.  Cleanliness and sanctity are important moral virtues.

Respect for authority—yet another one from Haidt. Groups are unlikely to function efficiently without hierarchy, so it makes sense that respect for authority should be seen as virtuous.

Consistency—the ability to ‘stand firm’ in the face of change is often associated with strength of character.

Also, keep in mind that if respondents are having difficulty articulating why they feel as they do about something, morality might be lurking beneath the surface.

And then there’s the question of how to get people to speak openly about moral considerations. First, understand that you’re going to have to work for it.  Clearly, this is not something that tends to come up on its own, so some digging will be required. I’ve also found that these exercises and techniques can be helpful in drawing people out about moral considerations:

The third person: Instead of asking participants to explain why they feel a certain way about something, ask them to speculate as to why others feel that way. Distancing themselves from their own comments may enable more candor.

Picture sorts: Allowing participants to select from a set of evocative images to explain their feelings about something may help initiate a conversation about morality.  

Storytelling: Asking participants to tell a story about the topic in question that includes a hero and a villain can really be effective. Heroes and villains are both figures defined by morality, and so this can be a good way to start a dialogue about morality.

Mock political ads: Most political advertising is oriented around a candidate’s virtues or moral failings. So, by asking research participants to write a political ad about users or non-users of a brand, they have an opportunity to show how they think about the moral implications of those behaviors.

Morality really is like the elephant in the room: it’s always there, it’s absolutely huge, and it’s rarely spoken of. But it’s often a dominant factor in crucial marketing issues.

Links to other Mindset blog posts:

https://thomasmrich.com/2020/01/09/the-most-important-research-tool-youre-probably-not-using/

https://thomasmrich.com/2019/11/13/when-you-dont-know-what-you-want/

https://thomasmrich.com/2019/09/25/why-being-poor-is-so-expensive/

https://thomasmrich.com/2019/08/21/when-good-enough-is-good-enough-2/