OK – let’s get this out of the way; despite my deliberately provocative title, willpower isn’t a myth. But there’s a lot of BS out there about willpower.

It’s that time of year – when those earnest new year’s resolutions made in January now lie in shambles. And that’s when willpower raises its ugly head. If you’ve failed to keep your resolutions, it’s likely you’re berating yourself for lacking willpower. Don’t. Behavior change is hard. Much of the self-flagellation in which people engage regarding willpower comes from a series of misunderstandings about what willpower is and how it works.

Let’s start with a definition. I think of willpower as the ability to delay gratification to serve long term goals. Examples: forgoing that donut so you’ll live longer, or bearing down and preparing your taxes in January so you’ll get your refund sooner.

Willpower is a good thing – it helps you get unpleasant-but-necessary stuff done. But there are key things to know about willpower, and a couple of misperceptions about it that need to be set straight. When conducting qualitative research on such topics as weight loss and smoking cessation, I see misunderstandings about willpower come up regularly.

Here are some things you need to know:

It’s a finite resource. I can’t stress this enough: willpower will only take you so far, as it eventually runs out. Psychologists and addiction counselors refer to ‘willpower fatigue.’ It’s also called ‘ego depletion,’ and it’s a real thing, having been documented in numerous studies. This is why the failure rate for most weight loss programs is so high: they depend on an indefinite, limitless supply of willpower to achieve lasting success.

Not only is willpower finite over time, it is also finite in the moment; if you’re exercising willpower in one aspect of life, there will be less for other things. If you’re gritting your teeth to get your taxes done, you might find it doubly difficult to resist that donut. This is one reason people trying to quit smoking often gain weight – they’re expending so much mental energy resisting nicotine cravings, they’re less able to police their eating. Willpower can also be compromised by stress and fatigue – think about how hard it is to eat right when traveling on business.

Willpower is a skill.  It’s something that can be learned. Like a muscle, it can be strengthened through training and repetition, and it can atrophy from disuse. Psychologist have shown that by consistently exercising willpower in small ways, people can become more adept at resisting bigger temptations.

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And here are two major misperceptions about willpower:

Willpower is a matter of character. Successful people often attribute their achievements to willpower, self-discipline, and perseverance, and believe that those who are less successful lack these qualities. Similarly, we tend to assume that others who are successful must be highly disciplined individuals. As a qualitative researcher, I hear this sort of thinking all the time, and believe it is simplistic and wrong. If you think success comes from willpower and that willpower is a virtue, then those who have experienced failure in their lives must lack this virtue and be, by definition, weak and immoral individuals. This sort of thinking is unfairly judgmental.

Willpower is all you need.  The idea that willpower alone can drive behavior changes – particularly permanent ones – is something I hear frequently. However, without motivation and environmental change, willpower by itself is insufficient. I’ve conducted many focus groups and interviews on the topic of weight loss. I’ve noticed that not all people trying to shed weight really want to – they’re doing it because a healthcare provider or family member is pushing them to do it. So, they’re not motivated to make necessary behavioral changes.

I’ve also seen that people who successfully lost weight were able to because they changed their environment – they removed fattening foods from their homes and workplaces, stopped going where fattening foods would be present, and were able to reduce the cravings that cause them to overconsume fattening foods. Without these environmental changes, they wouldn’t have been able to instill the permanent behavior changes that facilitated the weight loss.

I’ll wrap up with a few tips:

Do what you can to make willpower unnecessary (or, at least, less so). Behavior changes often are tripped up by cravings and temptations. I’ve done a number of qualitative research studies that involved speaking to addiction counselors. One thing they repeatedly emphasized is that cravings can eventually subside through abstinence. While this takes time, during which willpower is essential, eventually the reduction or elimination of the craving makes willpower less necessary.

Focus on your environment. If willpower is about resisting temptation, removing sources of temptation from your environment will make willpower less necessary.

Focus on motivation. If you’re attempting to make a behavior change, have an honest conversation with yourself about what’s motivating this change. Is it in your economic interest to make this change? Is there some psychological or self-esteem benefit to be gained? Make sure you really understand, in as much detail as possible, what, if anything, is driving this change.

Rather than trying to eliminate a behavior, start by replacing it. This is why nicotine gum is helpful to those trying to quit smoking – it replaces the act of putting a cigarette in their mouths with a piece of gum. This still requires some willpower, but less than doing nothing would require.

We all know it: behavior change is challenging. But, if you want it make it a little easier, do what you can to reduce the importance of willpower.