Facing unpleasant truths and making difficult choices.
Much gets written about success, with lots of attention paid to things like grit, persistence and luck. While those are valuable, two underrated factors are the willingness to face unpleasant truths and the ability to make hard choices in response.
As a qualitative researcher, I look for these characteristics when talking with people about their decisions. The extent to which people can honestly consider inconvenient facts shapes their choices. The more willing people are to face hard realities, the better their decisions and the better the outcomes.
These factors are inextricably linked: what makes unpleasant truths unpleasant is that they bring you face-to-face with hard choices.
Let’s be clear – this is hard. We naturally avoid discomfort, be it physical or mental. We tend to sidestep inconvenient realities. But success requires not flinching at what’s hard to see.
I’ve had conversations recently with colleagues who have made difficult business decisions. They have walked away from unprofitable customers, laid off employees, or have closed their offices and gone remote. I’ve also talked over the years with people in dysfunctional relationships who saw the need for change. These were wrenching decisions. But once these individuals looked unflinchingly at the situation, they did what needed to be done.
Success isn’t just about seeing harsh truths. It’s about pairing that knowledge with action. Understanding that things are going badly is one thing. Changing course is another. Making hard choices means letting go of the familiar and the comfortable. It means taking risks and facing the unknown.
What’s required to see harsh realities and make tough decisions?
Honesty – the ability to see things as they are, not as you want them to be
Humility – being able to acknowledge failure, and admit you’ve been wrong
Discipline – the willingness to act with integrity, and to stay focused on goals
Courage – the will to do what’s scary
The good news is that these skills complement and strengthen each other. The better you get at confronting scary truths, the more comfortable you’ll get choosing hard paths. And the more time you spend walking those hard paths, the better you’ll get at valuing reality over comfort.
So, examine your own life. Is there something that’s not going well? Where you’re not getting the results you’ve been expecting? When a challenge that seems solvable isn’t getting solved, look for an unacknowledged, unpleasant truth. Most intractable problems – whether they be personal, national, or intergalactic – are so difficult because those responsible for solving them are denying reality.
While success looks great in the moment, what goes into it is anything but glamorous. It requires facing things you don’t want to face and doing things you don’t want to do. So go ahead – embrace those awful truths!
Facing unpleasant truths and making difficult choices.